Now i'm really satisfied. Sa dpt sdh jawapan d smua soalan sy ada dlm otak sy, yg pasal c anu tu. Yesss. I found out that he really did liked me last year. Tda perlu lah sy kasi crita dari mana sy tau. sbp pnjang crita dia. hehe. so, that means, semua perkara yg dia buat yg buat hati sy b'bunga wasn't fake. It was real. After i knew the real story my hatred towards him vanish completely :) Lega sudah hati sy. hehe. So when i see him i'll smile. Now i can move on dgn tenang. haha, but sedih lah juga. dia lepaskan sy senang2 ja sbp dia tdk suka kana ijik hahaha. nevermind. it's his choice. i wonder if he ever regrets? ntah la. it's not important anymore now. He's nothing to me now :)
Friday, February 22, 2013
I just feel like crying because of so many stuffs that's making me crazy! Everything is just stressing me out ! too many freaking problems ! i'm going nuts ! I just found out from a guy friend of mine, that the person that i've once liked so much last year that i end up hating that i thought gave me fake and high hopes sebenarnya sy salah paham sudah. My friend told me that he didn't meant to play with my feelings, but all his friends teased him about him and me. He really doesn't like to be tease. I shouldn't hated him. All this time i had been thinking negative of him. But whenever i got flashback bout him i am still sad. I just don't get him. Mau saja sy pgi chat kau, tanya semua soalan yg ada di otak sa. I just want to understand all of your reasons why did you do that to me. WHY? I've so many questions to ask you. But, how? we're ignoring each other now. There's no use. It's too late. There's nothing more i can do. I'm just confuse. I wanna know if you ever had feelings for me? I wanna know why did you want to remain as friends but you end up ignoring me? I wanna know why last year you treating other girls purposely infront of my eyes? I wanna know why i caught you looking at me so many times since the first time u knew i like u until now,even when you had already rejected me? I wanna know why, this year, when your friends called out my name and point at you,you just stay quiet and smiled but sometimes serious? Knp tdk mcm tahun lalu yg terus kau mengamuk? Why? Why must you give me high hopes last year? why must you act like you cared for me last year ? why must you know when i'm in a badmood? why must you text me last year ? why must you advice me when i got problems? why did you understand me? why must you be so nice to me? WHY WHY WHY ? Bnyk lg why sy. Tapi sy tdk ingt. Tapi teda guna kan. But if you really do have feelings maybe you'll make some efforts into making a "YOUandME" But you didn't even tried.That means you never had feelings for me rite. I want someone that puts an effort into making that relationship. Because that's just shows how much he cares and wants you. Haiss,but i guess you're not the one. Know what, i'm really tired of falling in love with the wrong person. My whole life, i've never met a guy that won't break my heart. Well, i'm only 15. Maybe it's still not the time yet. But seriously i just can't stand broken hearts anymore. I can't stand the pain and i can't make it go away. It hurts a lot. it's like there's a thousand small blade cutting and stabbing my heart. i hate myself for being so damn weak. Every small things would make me cry now. Maybe i'm just growing up. I just don't get myself. I'd rather be heartless than being hurt by everyone i love. Stress sikit pun sy mau menangis sudah. Sy kana marah parents pun mau menangis sudah. Urg hina2 sy sikit pun mau menangis sudah. Adik beradik sy marah2 atau hina2 sy pun sa mau menangis sudah. Sy dgr crita yg sedih skit2 ja pun sdh sa mau menangis. Tlampau fragile :'( ohh and my crush, likes my friend. punya sedih sy. hahaha. tus kwn sy yg stu yg brabis ctaw sa. kitai. sengaja btl mau kasi skit hati. dgn bangga lg tu dia ctau. kima la kau. apa punya kwn ohh tdk pndai jaga perasaan kwn sendiri. bgs sa tdapaya anggap kau kwn kn. sial btl tu gaya. tda ikhlas btl. sial paling sial la. aisshhhhh. tapi nsib kwn2 sy yg lain memahami sy <3 sy syg drg btl2. I thanked God for giving me friends like them :') bkn yg mcm satu urg tu. over sial. okay sorry sa memaki. tda dpt sabar ba. aishhh. tdapa lah. eveyone that i end up having crush with always likes someone else. Itulah, hal yg gni kcil pun buli buat sa sedih ba. sa pun tdatau knp hati sy gete btl tlampau fragile -,- baa k la. panat sudah sa mau menaip. sa mau buat script utk group kami lagi utk drama BI. We'll be doing a drama entitled "The Little Match Girl" siokk ba ni crita dia. bikin sedih2. hahaha. tus mau buat folio sejarah lgi utk PMR. Tus awal blm 3 ada ujian lagi. Hrp2 sy dpt score yg bgs la. amen.
Posted by Dymphna L. at 22:50
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Tadi sy t'nmpk crush sy yg dulu sy minat. hehehe. Still as cute as always. hehe. nda ba punya gete wakakaka. Today is a really boring day. haisss. bosan nedi. Balik2 mamy sy marah2 sy, tpi tdk teruk lah. dia suru sy awal2 sedia barang2 utk pgi sikula bsk. tus dia suru2 sy buat itulah inilah. aishhh. sdg kan sy suru dia pgi jahit jeans sy d kedai pun beribu alasan dia ==" dari dulu lgi sy suruh, smpai lah skrng tiada. aishhh. hahaha. tpi tda apa la kaye. mama sa baitu takan mau marah pula kan3. hahha. Hari ni pun mcm sejuk2 juga ohh kan. mendung2 cuaca dia. selesa btol kalau tdr. tapi kalau sa tdr mmng jam 7 baru tebangun tu. tus mlm2 tdk dpt tdr jadi burung antu la. hahaha. Sa boring kan sa bilang, Tus kunun sa b'gmbr ni hahaha.
My Retarded face xD
Posted by Dymphna L. at 13:50
"Dear Child, I love you! I shed My own blood for you to prove it and to make you clean. You are clean now, so believe that it is true. You are lovely in my eyes, and I created you to be just as you are. Do not criticize yourself or get down for not being perfect. This leads only to frustration. I want you to trust Me...one step, one day at a time. Dwell in My power and in My love and you will be free! Be yourself! Don't allow other people to run you. I will guide you if you let me. Be aware of My presence in everything. I give you patience, love, joy, peace and life. Look to Me for your answers. I am your Shepherd and will lead you. Follow Me only! Listen to Me and I will tell you My will. Let My love flow from you and spill over to all you touch. Do not be concerned with yourself. You are My responsibility. I will change you. You are to love yourself and love others simply because I love you. Take your eyes off yourself! Look only at Me! I change...I create...but only when you let Me take control. You are Mine. You are Beautiful. You are Loved. Let Me give you joy, peace, and kindness like no one else can! Love, Jesus
P.S. Please write Me back!"
This is just beautiful don't you agree ? I copied it from Jesus Daily :)
Posted by Dymphna L. at 12:23
Sunday, February 10, 2013
"Bersyukurlah dengan diri sendiri ,janganlah ada perasaan cemburu dengan kecantikan atau kekayaan atau kebolehan orang lain. Bersyukurlah kerana Tuhan telah menciptakan kau di dunia ini. Janganlah membenci ciptaan Tuhan. Kau adalah diri kau sendiri. Jangan layan hinaan atau kutukan orang." Everytime, i have to say these words to myself. to give me strength to face people around me. Life is hard when you're not preety or rich. hahahaha. ohh what am i saying. Merepek saja ni xD k la. i was bored. Ohyaaa, i feel like i don't like anyone anymore. Hahahahaha. Empty again :) good laaa. hehe.
Posted by Dymphna L. at 23:09
Thursday, February 07, 2013
Waaaaa. mcm lama sudah sy tdk tulis2 sini ohh. well, so many things had happened. i went to camp. kem maju pengakap. and got sunburn. tapi tlampau teruk like last year. then now okay liao. and i'm getting more stresser than ever ==! tambah la itu jerawatzzzz. haisss. biarlah. bgini la kehidupan. ohyaaa, i think i have a crush back with someone that i used to like. His smile really makes me melt. so damn cute. d mata sy la hahaha. bila d'pkir2 , lama juga suda ohh sy minat ni urg. well, dulu sy tdk pernah kenal dia time masi skul yuk yin. ada la satu kali ja. tapi tdk kenal lngsung. but then in form 1, ada kem pengakap. kem keahlian. drg bagi2 kumpulan. i was in the same group as him. started from that, sa minat terus. all because of his smile. then form 2, kami kana suru ikt lg kem keahlian. kana bagi2 kumpulan juga. tiba2 kami satu kumpulan ni lg. two years in a row. hahahaha.sa tdamau ckp lg nti kadapatan. tapi suka btl sa t'nmpk dia d sikula ;3 sumil btl wakakakakakka. Ohyaa Happy Chinese New Year ! cuti la sangat ==! homework betimbun betul. adeii. bkin siksa btl ni guru2. drg sengaja btl. hahaha. sa ada beberapa plan bah ni.
Posted by Dymphna L. at 23:38