Sunday, May 05, 2013

:)

Haiii :* anu, kurang2 sda stress. drama suda habis, folio sej sda siap. tinggal hantar hari 1 lg. yeayyy. tinggal folio geo. Nda susah jga baitu. hrp2 la. amen. tus a week from nor, exam sem 1 sda. gudluck for me :* heee ohyaa I finally moved on :D akhirnyaaaaa. sejak sekian lama. hehehe. my feelings for that asshole is gone! Not completely la,sbp mmng masi ada tu perasaan peduli sikit2 kan ? hahaha. but yg pnting, tiada dia sda :D I don't get butterflies when i see him anymore. This moment is perfect :D sejak taun lalu i tried to move on, akhirnya tercapai juga hasrat sa selama ni. hehe :* biarla kami tdk b'lyn sda, buat apa jga sa mau belayan sama urg mcm tuu ? buang masa sa yg precious saajaa baa. Hahaha. Then finally, i realise, how stupid i was for leaving someone who really love and cares for me :') Then i realise how much i love him. But he never knew my real reason for leaving him. I really don't  know when will i tell him the truth. I feel really bad for him :'( i'm a bad person. Aiyaaa. I told him so many lies :( I made so many sin to him. Haisss, but when i left him, he still chase after me. Sometimes,i just don't understand my own feelings, do i really like him ? It's hard. I don't know anything now. Bila mcm yg tiada2 kan, manada feeling sa sama dia. kosong ba. empty. but i see him. i got so happy and crazy and get butterflies in my stomach. and he talks about another girl, it hurt me so much and makes me wanna cry. hahaha budu ni. Aishh anta kau. Sbenarnya kan, i really dont want to get involve to guy's life. I don't want to get near a guy, bkn la yg pigangpun tdk, but, i'd rather just be friends. I tired. I'm tired of being heartbroken. Heartbreaks after heartbreaks, i finally realise, i got so weak. Hal kecil saja pun kdg2 buat sa mcm mau menangis. Mungkin urg tngk sa mcm kuat kunun atau ganas, tau2 diam2 sa cepat sakit hati jga ba. Palui kan. hohoho bikin gali2 pantat ni haha. Lepas ni llki kan, sa serious ni, i don't want to get involve with any guy anymore. I'm so sick and tired of everything ni. I'm so damn tired ba. I just want a peaceful life with God,family and friends and  everyone around me. No boyfriend. I'm tired . Malas sa, mau stress2 gara2 llki ja, mau sakit2 hati knun, mau menangis2 lg, adeiii tulung la. Bikin gila ba. Sa btl2 mau move on ba. And lost contact sama c any , yg skrng tu. Supaya sa tdk gila pkir psal dia. Sa mau btl, tapi sa tkt. Sa tkt kalau dia jumpa urg lain :( sa masi suka dia. Yaa, kami masi lg b'contact mcm biasa ni, tp haritu ada sa tipu dia. Hahahaha. mmng pnjahat la sa :( sa tda tau sda ni. Baru sa sdar sa suka dia ni. Tpi kmi sda break. Aiyaaa, sa pun binggung. dia blg dia masi lg sayang sa knun. wakkakaka yuckksss. antah la kaye.  tapi hrp2 kisah psal dia cpt end. Biarlah lau dia ada org lain sda nti. Sa tlampau trauma ba sakit hati, sa takut btl. Because i really don't want to feel hurt anymore. Rusak batin sa ohh gara2 tu ja. But this is my life lessons kan. With out pain, we will never learn dia blg tu quotes. Ba ya la kaye. Sa trima saja dgn hati yg terbuka. Pain makes you stronger kan ? Baa, sakit hati mcm mna pun, i will survive kan ? tida juga mati terus ba. Ba yala, haisss. Sa pun tdatau mcm mna mau lari daripada ni urg. Haisss. Tngk ja la mcm mna nti. Hrp2 dia tebosan sda mau tunggu sa, tus dia cari urg lain. That's the best for him. Tiada guna dia mau kejar2 sa, sa kasi sakit hati dia seja. Buang masa dia saja. Sa tdk mau kasi susah dia jga. Ba okay la. Hrp2 dia tba2 berenti lyn sa la, biarlah, sa menangis b'mlm2. wakakakka. yg pnting after i mov e on. Bahagiaaa teruss. heeee ba k la. panat sa  taip2. kbye. :*

Sunday, April 28, 2013

CONFUSED

Haiisssss. Setirisss ohh sa. Tapi yg pnting, drama is over. Folio sejarah siap liao, tinggal tu IC urg yg kami temubual lagi. Haisss. Tinggal folio Geo lg. Then stress is over. Ehh jap. Manada over, PMR baa! Dan bulan 5 ada exam lagi. huhuhuhuxx :( hope i can get good grades ohh. I'll study hard ! Tpi sejak akhir2 ni, i'm just so damn lazy. Pemalas btl. Blajar pun jarang2. haisss. knp la sa begini :( why cant i be more diligent. huhuhuxx. Ohyaaa, i had finally snapped out of it. I finally moved on :) Tlampau lmbt suda baru sa sedar ni. Why should i like him sdg kan dia kasi sakit hati sa teruk btl taun lalu ? Why should i keep hoping when deep down inside,i know, nothing will ever happen again between us. We will never talk to each other again. We're strangers now. He's just somebody that he used to know and that's the same for me. We're nothing now. And it will never be back to normal again. If this is what God plans to do, I'll accept it :) I just need to make my heart stronger. I feel like a fool to fall for his games. Hahaha. I dont know la if btl2 dia kasi main2 sy kaa tdk. tapi yg pnting i will NEVER EVER like him again. NO MORE! hahahaha. Smoga dia bahagia la lps ni. Because, pandang dia pun sa tdk akan sudah :') Sa tdamau kasi bodo2 diri sa sendiri san cipta fake hope utk diri sa sendiri. No more you okay. Mau anggap kau kawan pun susah. Sbp we're not even talking to each other ni. Tda suda bertegur sapa. Wakakaka. Baaa dari kau saja ba itu. Malas suda sy mau sakit hati gara2 itu. Malas suda sy mau kisah pasal kau. Sa mcm c budu saja ni. Senang2 kana kasi budu2. Skrng kunun sa tesuka kau balik gara2 flashback2 semua yg kau buat bkin sa happy dulu. Tapi puiiii la. Tiada guna. Mungkin kau cuma buat gtu saja2. Boring kali kau kan time tu. Tidapa baa. Mau juga sa hoping bnyk2. I ever wondered if you regret ka ? Hrp2 la. Lg pun kau kan bodo, tdk pndai ambil langkah apa2. tlampau palui takut kana ijik2 kawan2 kau kan. tulahh not mature. Hahahahaha. sepatutnya from the start, you should've said NO ba. Bkn mau main2 perasaan org lagi. Ishhh3. ada juga tu hukum karma. Smpai sa tergila2 kan kau lagi tu. puihhh la. sa mmng bodo ba mau suka kau. ishh3. Sorry laaa sbp sa ckp2 kau d internet bgini. Hrp2 kau tdk tebca la. Hahahaha. tkt juga sa lau tba2 satu hari kana jumpa blog sa tus kana baca. Tapi bgs la kalau kau tebaca. Supaya kau sedar . Hahahaha. Dan yg sa baru2 kasi brek tu, tu pun sbenarnya sa kasi brek dia gara2 tu urg yg sa tlampau tergila2 kan dulu. Because i thought to myself, there's no use being in a relationship with someone else, when your heart actually belong to someone else. Btl juga, tapi sa mmng bodo ba. Mcm sa lg c penjahat. I dont want to hurt other people's heart. Because i know how much it hurts. I felt it before. Tapi sa tkt pula, kalau sy yg tlampau mau jaga hati urg tus urg yg kasi sakit hati sa. ==" dunia2. Hahahaha. Confuse btl. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like i wanna stay single forever ba. Baru la sa tdk akan kasi sakit hati org, dan org pun tdk akan kasi sakit hati sa. Kan lg bgs gtu. Mcm trauma btl ba sa. Sa tkt btl kana kasi sakit hati. because i dont to feel that hurt for the second time anymore. I could die. Hahahaha. And my family is stressing me out. Tdk tahan. Sa mau PMR ba. kamu kasi stress sa lagi. Sa tda suka ada d rmh terus gara2 kamu. terus sa tdk dpt blajar. haisss. antahh. mamy sa pun bkin panas. eee antah la. sabar seja la. Tabah dgn senyuman. Hadapi semua dgn senyuman juga :) Baa k laa. so damn tired. tadi baru balik dari kk, terus sa buat folio -,- tapi ada hasil juga hehe. dpt juga sa jam g-shock warna biru yg baru,beg skul warna pink,casing tlefon warna pink dan baju baru hehehe. tapi sa berdosa sbp tdk pgi krisma :( haisss, ba k la bye blogggggg.

Monday, April 08, 2013

I don't know what to do anymore.

Well, lama sda tdk story2 sini. I want to say about capital A. Well, i fought a lot lately. Who cares anyway. Kin panas kan. Hahahaha. I'm tired of his attitude. He's just so damn childish. It's like i'm in a relationship with sa  5 years old. hahahaha. but nevermind. Now i'm confuse. Gara2 hari tu, ada dia buat yg bikin sakit hati. sa bilang sa ada kem dia tdk pcaya. dia bilang sa penipu. baaa dari sana la. gaduh ba. kin pnas btl. cam tai. gila baaa terus hilang ni feeling sa sama dia. ntah la. cepat btl hilang ni. siapa suruh dia juga. bnyk ba dia buat bkin sa hilang feeling sama dia. cepat btl terasa! tus suka btl buat janji2 sial. hahahaha. paduli la dia. sa pun tdatau. and i think im starting to like back someone who i learn to let go of. but i failed. too much memories with him. I'm just confuse. So damn confuse. I dont know what to do, cm xpndai jara2 oh sy ni. i like you CINA TUA, so much. you're really mature ba. Sangat. When i got problems,and i share it to you, you gave me great advice, that i still keep in my head until now. tapi kalau c capital A, ehh tukar la, pangako sayo pula, bila sa kasitau masalah psal ada urg bkin sbr gtu, bkn dia suru sy bersabar ba, dia mau trep kuat lg kunun. adada sa bilang. sa tida suka ohh bgni :( kalau la dia mcm  cina tua kan bgs. dia suru sbr lg. adada. ter'flashback2 ohhh pasal dulu2. aiyaaaa i miss you CINA TUA,i miss how close we used to be,i miss texting with you,i miss talking to you,i miss everything about you ba :( bikin fake hope ohh asal nmpk kau d skul, because our eyes always met. You know what, seriously, i cant breath when i saw you ba :( my heart race really fast. ntah la, sdh kau kasi kecewa sa tau lalu, ntah knp sa masi suka kau. kalau kau mau tau, sa gila ba, sa gila bayang pasal kau. yaa sa tau, menggelikan. kau tau ka, kau la urg pertama yg sa suka bgini lama. bkn crush la, terus terang LIKE la terus. Dari taun lalu lg ba. knp ni sy? sy pun tdatau. kau jampi2 sy kali hahahah tdaba palui. tus walaupun urg ckp kau buruk, sa tda terambil kisah sikit pun baa. dari taun lalu lgi. buli ka kau kasi sa satu peluang lg? tpi kcewa ba, kau ubah pkiran mau jd kwn saja, sbp gara2 kwn2 kau ijik2 kau :'( kecewa ba sa dpt tau pasal tu :'( huhuhuxx. tau2 kita jadi sdh lg tu :( kalau x, mmng sa jaga ohh relationship kita smpai bila2. sa tlampau ba suka kau. sa tlampau yg brabis. sa sdh cuba lupa kan kau ba. tpi tdk b'kesan. sa pg couple org lain without me moving on about you. dan sy btl2 la jeles nmpk kau rapat2 sma prmpuan lain ba :'( sangat2. sakit ohh hati sy

Saturday, March 02, 2013

So much things to do!

So much things to do ohh. folio sejarah, folio geografi, drama english ! tus exam lagi ba 20th of March ! adadaaaaaa! i want to finish all the folio but i need to focus on my exam ba! mcm mana tuuu. tus mau antar folio sejarah pun pada tarikh yg sama dgn mau buat drama english. Nasib baik script kami siap sudah. hahaha. tinggal mau hafal dan kasi sdia probs2 lg. nda bnyk juga. tdapa la. nti cuti kami urus tu drama. sejarah sa boleh mula suda. ahhhh.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

SATISFIED :)

Now i'm really satisfied. Sa dpt sdh jawapan d smua soalan sy ada dlm otak sy, yg pasal c anu tu. Yesss. I found out that he really did liked me last year. Tda perlu lah sy kasi crita dari mana sy tau. sbp pnjang crita dia. hehe. so, that means, semua perkara yg dia buat yg buat hati sy b'bunga wasn't fake. It was real. After i knew the real story my hatred towards him vanish completely :) Lega sudah hati sy. hehe. So when i see him i'll smile. Now i can move on dgn tenang. haha, but sedih lah juga. dia lepaskan sy senang2 ja sbp dia tdk suka kana ijik hahaha. nevermind. it's his choice. i wonder if he ever regrets? ntah la. it's not important anymore now. He's nothing to me now :)

Friday, February 22, 2013

STRESS!

I just feel like crying because of so many stuffs that's making me crazy! Everything is just stressing me out ! too many freaking problems ! i'm going nuts ! I just found out from a guy friend of mine, that the person that i've once liked so much last year that i end up hating that i thought gave me fake and high hopes sebenarnya sy salah paham sudah. My friend told me that he didn't meant to play with my feelings, but all his friends teased him about him and me. He really doesn't like to be tease. I shouldn't hated him. All this time i had been thinking negative of him. But whenever i got flashback bout him i am still sad. I just don't get him. Mau saja sy pgi chat kau, tanya semua soalan yg ada di otak sa. I just want to understand all of your reasons why did you do that to me. WHY? I've so many questions to ask you. But, how? we're ignoring each other now. There's no use. It's too late. There's nothing more i can do. I'm just confuse. I wanna know if you ever had feelings for me? I wanna know why did you want to remain as friends but you end up ignoring me? I wanna know why last year you treating other girls purposely infront of my eyes? I wanna know why i caught you looking at me so many times since the first time u knew i like u until now,even when you had already rejected me? I wanna know why, this year, when your friends called out my name and point at you,you just stay quiet and smiled but sometimes serious? Knp tdk mcm tahun lalu yg terus kau mengamuk? Why? Why must you give me high hopes last year? why must you act like you cared for me last year ? why must you know when i'm in a badmood? why must you text me last year ? why must you advice me when i got problems? why did you understand me? why must you be so nice to me? WHY WHY WHY ? Bnyk lg why sy. Tapi sy tdk ingt. Tapi teda guna kan. But if you really do have feelings maybe you'll make some efforts into making a "YOUandME" But you didn't even tried.That means you never had feelings for me rite. I want someone that puts an effort into making that relationship. Because that's just shows how much he cares and wants you. Haiss,but i guess you're not the one. Know what, i'm really tired of falling in love with the wrong person. My whole life, i've never met a guy that won't break my heart. Well, i'm only 15. Maybe it's still not the time yet. But seriously i just can't stand broken hearts anymore. I can't stand the pain and i can't make it go away. It hurts a lot. it's like there's a thousand small blade cutting and stabbing my heart. i hate myself for being so damn weak. Every small things would make me cry now. Maybe i'm just growing up. I just don't get myself. I'd rather be heartless than being hurt by everyone i love. Stress sikit pun sy mau menangis sudah. Sy kana marah parents pun mau menangis sudah. Urg hina2 sy sikit pun mau menangis sudah. Adik beradik sy marah2 atau hina2 sy pun sa mau menangis sudah. Sy dgr crita yg sedih skit2 ja pun sdh sa mau menangis. Tlampau fragile :'( ohh and my crush, likes my friend. punya sedih sy. hahaha. tus kwn sy yg stu yg brabis ctaw sa. kitai. sengaja btl mau kasi skit hati. dgn bangga lg tu dia ctau. kima la kau. apa punya kwn ohh tdk pndai jaga perasaan kwn sendiri. bgs sa tdapaya anggap kau kwn kn. sial btl tu gaya. tda ikhlas btl. sial paling sial la. aisshhhhh. tapi nsib kwn2 sy yg lain memahami sy <3 sy syg drg btl2. I thanked God for giving me friends like them :') bkn yg mcm satu urg tu. over sial. okay sorry sa memaki. tda dpt sabar ba. aishhh. tdapa lah. eveyone that i end up having crush with always likes someone else. Itulah, hal yg gni kcil pun buli buat sa sedih ba. sa pun tdatau knp hati sy gete btl tlampau fragile -,- baa k la. panat sudah sa mau menaip. sa mau buat script utk group kami lagi utk drama BI. We'll be doing a drama entitled "The Little Match Girl" siokk ba ni crita dia. bikin sedih2. hahaha. tus mau buat folio sejarah lgi utk PMR. Tus awal blm 3 ada ujian lagi. Hrp2 sy dpt score yg bgs la. amen.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

HEHE.


Tadi sy t'nmpk crush sy yg dulu sy minat. hehehe. Still as cute as always. hehe. nda ba punya gete wakakaka. Today is a really boring day. haisss. bosan nedi. Balik2 mamy sy marah2 sy, tpi tdk teruk lah. dia suru sy awal2 sedia barang2 utk pgi sikula bsk. tus dia suru2 sy buat itulah inilah. aishhh. sdg kan sy suru dia pgi jahit jeans sy d kedai pun beribu alasan dia ==" dari dulu lgi sy suruh, smpai lah skrng tiada. aishhh. hahaha. tpi tda apa la kaye. mama sa baitu takan mau marah pula kan3. hahha. Hari ni pun mcm sejuk2 juga ohh kan. mendung2 cuaca dia. selesa btol kalau tdr. tapi kalau sa tdr mmng jam 7 baru tebangun tu. tus mlm2 tdk dpt tdr jadi burung antu la. hahaha. Sa boring kan sa bilang, Tus kunun sa b'gmbr ni hahaha. 

My Retarded face xD

:)


"Dear Child, I love you! I shed My own blood for you to prove it and to make you clean. You are clean now, so believe that it is true. You are lovely in my eyes, and I created you to be just as you are. Do not criticize yourself or get down for not being perfect. This leads only to frustration. I want you to trust Me...one step, one day at a time. Dwell in My power and in My love and you will be free! Be yourself! Don't allow other people to run you. I will guide you if you let me. Be aware of My presence in everything. I give you patience, love, joy, peace and life. Look to Me for your answers. I am your Shepherd and will lead you. Follow Me only! Listen to Me and I will tell you My will. Let My love flow from you and spill over to all you touch. Do not be concerned with yourself. You are My responsibility. I will change you. You are to love yourself and love others simply because I love you. Take your eyes off yourself! Look only at Me! I change...I create...but only when you let Me take control. You are Mine. You are Beautiful. You are Loved. Let Me give you joy, peace, and kindness like no one else can! Love, Jesus

P.S. Please write Me back!"

This is just beautiful don't you agree ? I copied it from Jesus Daily :)

Sunday, February 10, 2013

"Bersyukurlah dengan diri sendiri ,janganlah ada perasaan cemburu dengan kecantikan atau kekayaan atau kebolehan orang lain. Bersyukurlah kerana Tuhan telah menciptakan kau di dunia ini. Janganlah membenci ciptaan Tuhan. Kau adalah diri kau sendiri. Jangan layan hinaan atau kutukan orang." Everytime, i have to say these words to myself. to give me strength to face people around me. Life is hard when you're not preety or rich. hahahaha. ohh what am i saying. Merepek saja ni xD k la. i was bored. Ohyaaa, i feel like i don't like anyone anymore. Hahahahaha. Empty again :) good laaa. hehe.

Thursday, February 07, 2013

sarita sarita

Waaaaa. mcm lama sudah sy tdk tulis2 sini ohh. well, so many things had happened. i went to camp. kem maju pengakap. and got sunburn. tapi tlampau teruk like last year. then now okay liao. and i'm getting more stresser than ever ==! tambah la itu jerawatzzzz. haisss.  biarlah. bgini la kehidupan. ohyaaa, i think i have a crush back with someone that i used to like. His smile really makes me melt. so damn cute. d mata sy la hahaha. bila d'pkir2 , lama juga suda ohh sy minat ni urg. well, dulu sy tdk pernah kenal dia time masi skul yuk yin. ada la satu kali ja. tapi tdk kenal lngsung. but then in form 1, ada kem pengakap. kem keahlian. drg bagi2 kumpulan. i was in the same group as him. started from that, sa minat terus. all because of his smile. then form 2, kami kana suru ikt lg kem keahlian. kana bagi2 kumpulan juga. tiba2 kami satu kumpulan ni lg. two years in a row. hahahaha.sa tdamau ckp lg nti kadapatan. tapi suka btl sa t'nmpk dia d sikula ;3 sumil btl wakakakakakka. Ohyaa Happy Chinese New Year ! cuti la sangat ==! homework betimbun betul. adeii. bkin siksa btl ni guru2. drg sengaja btl. hahaha. sa ada beberapa plan bah ni. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

zzzzz.

too many stuffs making me stress !!!!! sabar jaa laa. sabar ja sma org2 sekeliling sa. biarpun se'bkin pnas mna pun. haisssssssss. kitai. yg teda2 pnya hal ba sa mw kcewa cm tai. biarlah. hahahajahaha. SABAR. hmmmm. ni smua cma msalah duniawi. just pray to God. surely God will help me. buat msa skrng sabar dan move on dlm semua hal budu2. i still have God by my side ba. okay. pduli la org2 sekeliling yg bkin pns. just forget and forgive them ;)

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Why must me.

I'm really tired of everything. Kana kasi fake hope jaaa baa. lau satu urang tida apa, ni brapa urg. pkir sa benda ka. aishhh. dari dulu lagi ohh bgini. fake hope jaaa. eee kamaaa budu btl ni jantan2 zman skrng. esehhmenn xD hahahaha. Biarlah, i dont trust guys anymore. Tlampau dilayan pun dikasi perasan seja. Tapi nothing will ever happen juga last2. Tus beberapa lama kemudian, pndai cari balik. tus bila dilayan balik tba2 tda kana layan bebulan2. aishhhh. kitai. hahaha. sepa suru sa budu kan. Tlampau sinang kana kasi budu. Tulah sa teda utak. I lost my trust to boys ohh. Sukar sudah sy mau percaya ni. Ntah laa. Mulai skrng, mana2 sms dari llki pun sa xmau layan. Kcuali abg/kazen/kwn. Mlas sudah sy kana kasi buduh2. Tida tahan ni. Tapi nda apaa la kaye. Maaf kan dorang saja la. I dont want to take any risk anymore, if there's any guy that wants to get close to me, i'll build a thick wall between us.Tapi kalau kwn nda la. Sa tdamau suka2 lelaki suda. Minat pun tdamau! Crush pun tdamau. eehh sama ja kan tu. walaupun yg hensem berabis ! Malas sudah sy kecewa ==" 

Saturday, January 05, 2013

life is hard.

life is really hard. My azam this year is study hard, get many A's on PMR, and dont fall in love. but when school re-opens, that feelings to him came back. i thought i already got over him. but i was wrong. damn wrong. haiss. Why??? why can't i get over him. He's nothing but a heart breaker ba! Adedahh. Seeing him at school just breaks my heart. i felt like i wanna cry again. i hate remembering what he did to me. Ohyaa, yesterday, i had diarrhea. and my stomach hurts so much. ==" then i got home early. bikin panas lagi tu cikgu anu hahahahha. biarla rasiah. tkt sa nti tba2 ada kes memaki cikgu d internet. hohohoho palis2. okay back to the story, then i spent most of my time in the toilet ==" that was the worst day of my life for 2013. then, i went to my room, then i remembered a book where i wrote bout all my feelings. i called that book the black book. hahaha. because it was black,it's more like a diary to me. then i read it. it's been a long time since i wrote that book. since last year. hahaha. When i read it, my heart start aching it's like i feel the same pain again for the second time. i had flashback. zzzz. then, i started crying again. !@#$%^&* stupid. but to be honest, it really hurts a lot. i hated him so much, but i cant stop loving him. i've never like anyone like i liked him before. the feelings is different from the rest. seriously, he isn't my type AT ALL. he's nothing near my type of guy. and honestly, nda hensem juga dia ;p ehehehe. ehh wait, ada la juga type dia that i like, he's kind and funny wakakakaka puihh la. I've made a decision to move on and stop thinking,stop hoping,stop stalking,stop everything. No more him. walaupun susah, but i'll try my best :D kalau mau move on dgn cari llki lain nda dapat tu. mmng tdk akan b'kesan buat gue. Haha. You know what, i tried to forget bout him for 2 whole months. Yg first2 cuti teruk. mau lupa dia knun, tapi tambah miss ada la. tapi beberapa hari kemudian i forgot bout him. punya happy holiday sa. langsung tdk pkir dia. tapi buka skul tus t'nmpk dia, second day la. zzzz. LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST baaa! kasi tinggal memory sedih sa d 2012 ! it's 2013 baby! no more him ! lupakan dia! jan lagi ambi tahu pasal dia ! leave him in your past ! act like you had never knew him ! hahaha. that's the best way ! when you see him act like u dont know him, see him as a fly. hahaha. Dia perasan diri dia tlampau hensem ba kali tu, tus dia mau kasi perassan2 sy, kasi2 sy fake hope yg tda pernah wujud. segalanya la. hahahaha. teruk ba gaya kau. teruk tahap gaban. kenapa la sy t'kenal org mcm kau. menyesal saya pernah kenal kau. kan bgs kalau sy tdk pernah kenal kau :) kalau tba2 satu hari dia t'nmpk atau t'baca ni sa pun tda tau ohh o.O hahahaha sorry laa sa ckp kau bgini, tetapi ini adalah kenyataan :D hehehehe. kau buat sy suka kau, kau buat sy gila bayang pasal kau, we started texting, then suddenly you called me syg walaupun teda apa2 hubungan, and i just go with it, so many thing happened la, tapi yg paling sy ingt, time sa badmood btl d kelas sbp ada urg sial bikin panas, d kelas mcm kau diam dan tngk gtu ja nmpk sy mara tu urg, mcm kau tdk peduli. tapi when i got back home from school, you texted me, kau tanhya sy badmood ka, tus sa kasitau kau la, tus u advice me. bnyk kata2 kau yg masi melekat d utak sy.  first time la sy dpt kwn lelaki mcm kau yg caring. kau tau ka, tu yg buat sy tambah syg/suka/gila bayang pasal kau. after that i gathered all my courage to say that i really like you, because i heard ur friends told me you like me. then when i told you, you said all that fuckin sweet words that made my heart melt. you made me think that we are already going out. but i was wrong rite ? very wrong. beberapa lama kemudian, bnyk perkara sudah terjadi, ada tu sy rasa lain2 sbp ada kwn kau ckp2 ma sa, then i ask you again "jadi kita betul2 jadi sudah ka" aishhh tus tba2 dia jwb "tda tau mungkin masi dlm percubaan" wtf. jadi haritu apa knun? !@#$%^&* lepas tu i just go along with that. we did text. but not much. but he keeps calling me syg. kitai. then beberapa lama kemudian lg, ntah apa lg tu terjadi tus sy tanya lagi, "sampai bila la dlm percubaan" dia jwb "lepas abis exam la,lepastu syg yg tentukan" okay tus sa jwb dia ntah apa suda tu sy lupa2 suda, tapi yg sa ingt sa ckp ma dia "saya tunggu kau" lepastu, abis suda exam, sy tanya dia lagi, dia tdk mau tba2, ZZZZZ ntah la. bnyk la knun alasan dia tu. tapi sa tda pcaya alasan dia, sy anggap dia tdk mau ja biarpun dia ckp "bkn saya tdamau tapi blablablabla.........." !@#$%^&* haisss. ancur ba hati sy. mcm maruah sy tercalar juga. tus urg salah paham lg kami suda jadi. terutamanya kwn2 dia, smpai la skrng, 2013 masi lagi ijik2 sy. sy ckup sabar suda. tapi sa ketawa2 ja. tapi lau satu hari sy hilang sbr, sa pun tdatau la, smpai bila2 sy tdk layan lg ohh. sy tda tahan ohh kana ijik2 nama dia. mcm mna sy mau lupakan dia lau bgtu? budu ba kwn2 dia ni. mmng budu. tdabaa, bkn budu dari segi pelajaran, budu dari segi jaga perasaan urg. drg tdk pndai paham. kwn2 dia pun la, tukang kasi persan pasal dia. kau tau ka, kau la lelaki yg paling susah sy mau lupakan. sbp kau la yg first yg bnyk memory sy ma kau. dari sejak sy blm suka kau lagi. bnyk ba kenangan yg siok ma kau. ketawa2, b'ijik2. good times. sbp sy ni bkn mcm prmpuan lain, yg skijap2 tukar2 boyfriend,yg  skijap2 b'dating2, b'pigang2 puihhh. drg terus ada good times with each other. kalau sy lain. tapi ntah knp sy pg ska kau. sy juga punya salah ba ni. terlampau bduh tahap anjing. pg kepsi tadi pun t'nmpk kau lagi zzzzzz. sial btl. soii. because of him, i rejected someone. sbp sy telampau masi mengharap. yg sbelum sy suka dia, senang2 sy suka urg lain. tapi after liking him and after everything with him, susah suda sy mau suka org lain. kau tau ka sengsara btl. sa gila bayang ba. malu ba sa mau taip ni d sni, tpi ntah knp mcm puas hati ni kalau luah d sini hohohohoh. waaa cm lega sikit sudah hati sy. hehe. now, i wanna try and open up my heart to someone else that deserve me and wont break my heart. but not now, when then time is rite barulah ngam.lgi pun azam sy dont fall in love with anyone kan. entah la, me and my cousin buat janji jgn kapel2 this year. i'll try to keep that promise. tapi mmng dpt tu. waaaa panjang ohh kan sy taip hewhew. apa buli buat. hahaa. woooooooooooo legaaaa. lupakan diaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. move on !! hehe, sa dapat tu! jan lagi waste ur time on him ! kau dapat tu! struggle PMR kau !! baaaa sa panat. bye :)