Friday, February 22, 2013

STRESS!

I just feel like crying because of so many stuffs that's making me crazy! Everything is just stressing me out ! too many freaking problems ! i'm going nuts ! I just found out from a guy friend of mine, that the person that i've once liked so much last year that i end up hating that i thought gave me fake and high hopes sebenarnya sy salah paham sudah. My friend told me that he didn't meant to play with my feelings, but all his friends teased him about him and me. He really doesn't like to be tease. I shouldn't hated him. All this time i had been thinking negative of him. But whenever i got flashback bout him i am still sad. I just don't get him. Mau saja sy pgi chat kau, tanya semua soalan yg ada di otak sa. I just want to understand all of your reasons why did you do that to me. WHY? I've so many questions to ask you. But, how? we're ignoring each other now. There's no use. It's too late. There's nothing more i can do. I'm just confuse. I wanna know if you ever had feelings for me? I wanna know why did you want to remain as friends but you end up ignoring me? I wanna know why last year you treating other girls purposely infront of my eyes? I wanna know why i caught you looking at me so many times since the first time u knew i like u until now,even when you had already rejected me? I wanna know why, this year, when your friends called out my name and point at you,you just stay quiet and smiled but sometimes serious? Knp tdk mcm tahun lalu yg terus kau mengamuk? Why? Why must you give me high hopes last year? why must you act like you cared for me last year ? why must you know when i'm in a badmood? why must you text me last year ? why must you advice me when i got problems? why did you understand me? why must you be so nice to me? WHY WHY WHY ? Bnyk lg why sy. Tapi sy tdk ingt. Tapi teda guna kan. But if you really do have feelings maybe you'll make some efforts into making a "YOUandME" But you didn't even tried.That means you never had feelings for me rite. I want someone that puts an effort into making that relationship. Because that's just shows how much he cares and wants you. Haiss,but i guess you're not the one. Know what, i'm really tired of falling in love with the wrong person. My whole life, i've never met a guy that won't break my heart. Well, i'm only 15. Maybe it's still not the time yet. But seriously i just can't stand broken hearts anymore. I can't stand the pain and i can't make it go away. It hurts a lot. it's like there's a thousand small blade cutting and stabbing my heart. i hate myself for being so damn weak. Every small things would make me cry now. Maybe i'm just growing up. I just don't get myself. I'd rather be heartless than being hurt by everyone i love. Stress sikit pun sy mau menangis sudah. Sy kana marah parents pun mau menangis sudah. Urg hina2 sy sikit pun mau menangis sudah. Adik beradik sy marah2 atau hina2 sy pun sa mau menangis sudah. Sy dgr crita yg sedih skit2 ja pun sdh sa mau menangis. Tlampau fragile :'( ohh and my crush, likes my friend. punya sedih sy. hahaha. tus kwn sy yg stu yg brabis ctaw sa. kitai. sengaja btl mau kasi skit hati. dgn bangga lg tu dia ctau. kima la kau. apa punya kwn ohh tdk pndai jaga perasaan kwn sendiri. bgs sa tdapaya anggap kau kwn kn. sial btl tu gaya. tda ikhlas btl. sial paling sial la. aisshhhhh. tapi nsib kwn2 sy yg lain memahami sy <3 sy syg drg btl2. I thanked God for giving me friends like them :') bkn yg mcm satu urg tu. over sial. okay sorry sa memaki. tda dpt sabar ba. aishhh. tdapa lah. eveyone that i end up having crush with always likes someone else. Itulah, hal yg gni kcil pun buli buat sa sedih ba. sa pun tdatau knp hati sy gete btl tlampau fragile -,- baa k la. panat sudah sa mau menaip. sa mau buat script utk group kami lagi utk drama BI. We'll be doing a drama entitled "The Little Match Girl" siokk ba ni crita dia. bikin sedih2. hahaha. tus mau buat folio sejarah lgi utk PMR. Tus awal blm 3 ada ujian lagi. Hrp2 sy dpt score yg bgs la. amen.

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